


An Evening Hojo Came Home (FEAH parody)

by PureStream



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Crack, Don't Read This, Five Evenings At Home fanwork, M/M, Parody, Petplay, seriously don't read this unless you've at least read FEAH first
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:53:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25235746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PureStream/pseuds/PureStream
Summary: Sephiroth and Cloud are having another evening enjoying themselves, but their fun is interrupted when the in-law comes by.OR, an ending to Five Evenings At Home according to Sephiroth.
Relationships: Sephiroth/Cloud Strife
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	An Evening Hojo Came Home (FEAH parody)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Five Evenings at Home](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25040044) by [countcarmine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/countcarmine/pseuds/countcarmine). 



Sephiroth and Cloud were having a fun evening at home, performing their usual pet play. Cloud loved wearing the collar, and he especially loved the way his beloved shirtless husband would tug at the leash to order him around.

But tonight's evening, was to be different! For you see, someone detestable had finally gotten a hold of Sephiroth's address.

Hojo burst through the door! And using his super slimy scientist hands, swiftly grabbed the leash and yanked Cloud away from his shirtless husband! OH the pain, the indecency to be yanked by someone not his husband!

"AIEEEEEE, Sephy my love help meeeee!"

"Ha ha ha ha! My son, you thought you could boot me from my position and keep me from breeding my different pets! Well, now I have YOUR pet! He is MINE, which means he is not yours! Ha ha ha ha!"

Sephiroth, with disgust in his eyes, starts to ready his sword. But Hojo, the fiend, continued to gloat.

"Ha ha! I thought you would have that, but you underestimate me son, for you see I have recruited two people on my side. They will fight you and defeat you and you will lose and I win."

And just as Hojo said, a large machine bust through the doorway. It was Heidegger and Scarlet, riding the Proud Clod!

"Ho ho ho! It is just as Hojo says. We have teamed up with him in order to exact revenge for stealing our jobs away. You prissy pansy boys will have to face your worst nightmare against our greatest weapon the Proud Clod! And mor-"

But Scarlet would not be able to finish her rambing, for the great Sephiroth struck down the Clod in one slice. Shirtless, of course. Both Scarlett and Heidegger lay dead amongst the rubbage.

"Noooooo! I should have known better than to trust them! But my boy, you may have bested my minions, but the fact remains I still have your pet. I shall make my escape with your little bird in tow, and the next time you see mOOWWW!"

Little did Hojo know, but Cloud had already chewed through the leash like the dog he was. And was now biting Hojo's hand too.

"Oweee oww owwww, ewwwww dog germs I have dog germs in my ski--" But Hojo would never finish, as his shirtless son took the opportunity to slice him in half.

"Ahhhh, my Sephy, my hero~" Cloud cried, as he embraced his now-bloodied husband. At last, the villain was slain, and peace had come at last.

And Cloud gave it to Sephiroth doggy style.

The end.

**Author's Note:**

> If it helps, imagine Hojo and his cronies sounding like they're from Speed Racer. That was the idea.
> 
> Anyway, go back to reading Andy's fic instead.


End file.
